i graduated.i am 18 years old.

can you believe that i still think that i'm 7 years old?i remember that day when my cousin asked me how old i was while searching something in his wardrobe,and i remember answering"7".and i really,REALLY felt 7 years old.
but after a point,time started to pass in a weird way,not fast or slow but it just started to really pass without letting me realise that im actually growing up.
-but werent you living every day like it was supposed to be your last one?memento mori,remember?-yes,i do,but that doesnt make the time stop passing or me realise that i dont have all the time in the world.
i mean im 18 years old and whenever someone sais the whole thing"YOURE 18 YEARS OLD"i say"please,dont.dont say it" and they most likely think that i dont mean it.but i do.
because its a shock to be told that you're 18 years old while the last thing you remember was that you were 7.
its like waking up from a comma and people saying to you that youre several years older,but hey,you still feel like you're the person you were before being in a comma.
not that i havent changed since then,i have.i wasnt in a comma.it just feels weird that im older,that people expect things for me,that im supposed to get a job or drive a car and that my parents let me stay at a club until six in the morning.i didnt do anything to trigger this,it just happened.
i probably feel so weird because im not ready yet for such a thing.

So life goes on,doesnt wait for you,and the most i realise the more uncomfortable i get.

i mean,i fuckin gratuated!
i will never go to school again.
and i know that change is a common thing but it never stops being a bit-or a lot-unsettling.
and it feels weird.
and sometimes it's scary.