Fuck drooling.

I realised im blogging whenever i'm not fine.Emotionally speaking obviously.

Well,there are exceptions-but not this one.

Cause now,im blogging in order not to grab a knife and start stabbing random things.

Well,let's start from the beggining.

You fell hard for a twat.For 2 years let's say.

In these two years time you make EVERYTHING possible ,in order to see him.

Fine.

And he doesnt give a shite.

(kinda)Fine.

And then,poof!You magically get over him.

You dont care whether he's got a girlfriend,you dont care whether he fucks the waitress after singing to her"Shoplifters of the world unite",you dont even care whether he's alive or dead.

Fine.

And then,suddendly,you wake up one day(probably at the wrong side of your bed)and you start falling for him again.AFTER A HALF FUCKIN YEAR.

You start remembering that feelling-which you haven't felt again since then,with anybody else-you start remembering those smells from back then,and you start realising you'll never,EVER love anybody the way you loved him.

(NOT) fine.

....And you also start realising that this is a hard period you're goin through,with a lot of studying and loads of boring stuff to do,but you say"ok,he'll come on July,and im gonna see him,and everything is gonna be ok",and you get by with this thought.

(SERIOUSLY NOT) FINE.

TADAAAA!The worst part is when you discover-or maybe REALISE-the fact he's got a girlfriend,and that yaaaay,he's gonna bring her with him.

And then all your dreams fall apart.

Yes,they do.

Cause she's everything you wanna be when you grow up,

she's your female soulmate

she's the absolute future you.

and now you cant even blame him for falling for her,

you cant even say something bad about her cause you would be lying.

Plus,you wanted to tell him you love him,but now you can't.

oh fuck that.you would never do it anyways...

No,really,im not jealous.

Do i look jealous?

Do i sound jealous?

Fuck.I am.

I really am.

Just Sometimes...

(warning,cheesy and depressing poem ahead.i wrote this 2 years ago,so dont be harsh on me just 'cause its full of cliches.)

Sometimes I wonder whether all these tears were worth for you.

And then,i continue crying.

Sometimes i wish i had done different things while you were around.

And then,i stop daydreaming.

Sometimes i wish you could feel the same pain as I do for you all this time.

And then,i realise you'll never will.

Sometimes i just stand and stare the lifeless ceiling and try not to think about you.

And then,just by trying to forget you,i remember you.

Sometimes i feel so haunted from my thoughts,that i believe im trapped in myself.

And then,i realise im trapped in a world without you.

Sometimes i write things down..feelings,thoughts...silly but simple ones.

And then i wish you could read them.

Sometimes i feel like there's still some hope left in me that tries its best to become reality.

And then,i feel empty.There's no hope for hopes.

Sometimes i dream

And then,i wake up.

Sometimes i love you to death.Some others,i just want you,and some others i need you.

And then,i always end up crying.

Sometimes i wish i could punch you in the face,let blood run from your wounds and then laugh.

And then,i think that i'd prefer to kiss you.

Sometimes i wish i could meet you in another life and hurt you as much as you hurt me.

And then,i realise i can still hurt you in this one,i just dont want to.

Sometimes i continue writing stupid things like these while thinking of you.

And then i just stop,and write THE END.

Summer?No thanks.

It's tough when summer comes.

It's tough 'cause you expect from the sea to wash away all your problems.

It's tough 'cause you expect from the sun to dry all your tears up and burn all of your worries.

It's tough because you just end up expecting too much from a season.

Its tough 'cause you have more free time that lets you think over and over those situations,and those mistakes of yours you should really not re-think.

oof.

I really think that summer is kinda tough.

You know,like,kinda.