Never mind,I wont find someone like you

Lately i've been writting a couple of posts,which i decided not to publish cause i felt that were too private when i got to read them again.
Both of them were utterly happy posts,but somehow,only this post-the utterly sad-made it.

Let me explain it a bit.
the one post started like this:
"Ahhh...
Sometimes some little discoveries in life seem so delightfull,so relaxing!"

And the other one like this:"people always say that at this time of year students should focus on their studies and definitely not in falling in love.
thing is,i always seem to do exactly the opposite from what people tell me."

Honestly,i really regret that happy posts didnt made it,and maybe ill post 'em some other time,although im pretty sure they'll be of no interest at all for an outside observer.
But now...now im gonna swear love for one more time
Because it makes me  write  a couple of happy posts,and then go back to the sad ones.
But now,my posts are sadder than ever.

It sounds incredibly cheesy,but i wish i could sing this to you.
I wish i could be in front of you with a microphone in my hands,looking at you,singing for you,even though a lot of people would be in the same room.
I wish that telling you something THAT important for me,could be just for once less difficult and less cheesy.
But there's no country for dreamers,is there?

But never mind,i'll find someone like you
...or maybe not.

THE DOOR.

Imagine you're in a room full of people.
As long as you can remember yourself you've been there.
There is this closed door that maybe leads to some other rooms.you just dont know where it leads to and you genuinly dont care.
One day,someone dissappears.
There are rumors that he went through the door.
So what's behind that door anyway?
You ask,and you discover that,for a weird reason,everybody seems to know what is behind that door,even though nobody has gotten through it yet.
What you've learned excites you at first.
There is a whole new world outside!
The thing is,you dont really feel like going through that door.
Time passes,and you start realising that more and more people go through that door,without a warning.
Some of them will talk about it before they decide to do it,but most of them just go through it and you only realise it when you see them missing.
Something weird is happenning.
Your frineds will go through it without you,and you start wondering whats wrong with YOU.
One day you look around and see that you're the only person left behind in the room.
You realise then,that you should have considered to open then door earlier!
What were you thinking?
Paniced,you try to run towards the door,but you're stuck.you cant move.
You try again and again but still,you keep standing there without moving an inch.
Time passes again,and one day you realise that you can move.
You run to the door and try to open it.
But the door is locked,and the key is nowhere to be found.


As the storyteller of this story,i really can't tell you how this will end.
I simply dont know whether you will be able to open the door.
I dont even know how this world outside actually looks like.
Cause you are me.
And i am trapped behind a door to which i cant find the key.

This is a symbolic story,but im pretty sure you have no idea what im actually talkin about,and to be honest,im really glad you dont.

The back-from-vacations happinnes.HOOREY!

Well,life has been...how can i describe my life without sounding boring?
oh well,life's been BORING lately dear people of the internet.

dammit,i dont know how,but some people make their life sound SO exciting!
let me give you an examble.theyll say:
-Look at my new *expensive*phone!its so great that shines all the time,and the screen is soooo soft!
or even when they dont have a new phone,theyll just say:
-I dont have a phone,but im planning to buy one,and doing research is fun,fun,fun!plus,im getting less radiation than you do.
 -I went on vacation to a great beautiful island with a deep blue sea and i was swimming day and night and eating whatever i wished and oh,that was the best summer of my life
or
-I staied here,but it was funfunfun cause i went every night out with my friends and danced till death,and flirted with a ton of boys and ive studied more than you,so ill pass the exams and you wont.

Now my point of view:
-I dont even mention the fact of getting a new phone cause it doesnt make me feel happier or anything.its just a new phone,ya know?
-i dont have a phone so i cant really communicate with anybody.fuckin great.i didnt communicate with anybody anyways,
-I went on vacation and swam to death and it was nice but now im back HERE so whats the point?
-I didnt go on vacations*shoots herself*


Soooo...i dont know.maybe im a bit down lately,maybe not.
maybe i expect too much from my life.maybe i cant realise this is life that im living and not a well-written novel.

My point is that i hope this "thing"gets better before i start becoming a boring person.
oh man,you 'd better shoot me than call me boring!