Maybe i've been California dreaming

Sometimes i wish you could SEE that some songs are written for you and me,and not for you and her.

Sometimes i really do wonder whether there's a songwritter somewhere,in a corner of my house,watching my life and keeping track of my thoughts and then when he gets a satisfying amount of them,he writes a song that fits exactly to my life.

Well,sometimes i just realise that everybody eventually falls in love like i do,and that our love stories in some point end up being pretty much similar.

"Just when I felt like giving up on us

You turned around and gave me one last touch

That made everything feel better

And even then my eyes got wetter

So confused, wanna ask you if you love me

But I don't wanna seem so weak

Maybe I've been California dreaming"

Ha-ha-ha.how ironic.

Ding-dong!it's time to wake uuuup.

Let's write something.like,anything mate!

Have you ever felt like writting something but not knowning what?
ah,of course you have.everybody has.
But have you ever actually read something by someone who felt like writting something,but  didnt know what?
HA!GOTCHA!
well,thats enough fro today i think.
I just needed to write about how great life can be sometimes,and how ironic at the same time.
but you know,i couldnt find the way,or the words to write about it.
plus everybody knows that life can be great sometimes.
even a fly may some day wake up,find a great piece of shit and get super excited about eating it,thinking that"oh!-buzz-life is so buzzing great!"
I mean,we ALL get super excited about things we shouldn t at the first place,and about things we know are pointless.
and you know what?a piece of shit may not be a great reason to be happy for you,but for a fly is a great reason!

and that's why just chatting with him makes me feel great.
Because it's not something i should be feeling great about,but i do.
its not bad,alright?
it is?oh shut up.

P.S.:Now you can proudly say that you just read something written by someone who didnt know what to write at all.congratulations!

So,go ahead....

Go ahead and stab me one more time.

Deeper this time.

Be sure you tear me apart motherfucker

Devour every piece of my flesh

And leave my heart for the end

Just so as i can feel the pain till then

Just so as to bare the hopes of you letting me live.

Just so as to bare the hopes that one day you will let yourself love me

But please,be cruel.

You know i like the sound of my tears dropping on the floor

You know i love it when i see my blood surround me

You know i love watching me dying by eating myself up

You know i love the taste of bitterness you leave on the tip of my tongue when you go away

So go ahead,and kill me one more time.

Sell my body and soul to your ego.
 Sell my heartbeat to the mist of unfulfilled love.

Maybe you could make make a pair of gloves from my hair

I would like to keep your hands warm in winter.

But really,would you ever wear a pair of red gloves?

Nah...i'd better dye my hair green for you.

You like green,dont you?

I can cut myself in little pieces for you,sir.

Do you want me to?

No,no...i really dont mind.

I've done this a several times and it doesnt really hurt a lot.

Truth is,missing you hurts much more.

 So go ahead,and stab me one more time....

A-lone.A-gain.A-ha!

Sometimes-well,more and more lately-i just feel the need to get away from EVERYONE and EVERYTHING.

there are moments when i realy hate every human being on this earth-including myself-.

i dont really know why,i've never been a hateful person.

all i ask is,can people be less complicated?PLEASE?

Gosh,people can be so harsh and horrible even without knowning it.and i wish i was less horrible from anyone else,but im not.and that really annoys me.

And other people have always been asking me why i hate myself.But look,how can i like myself while i hate every single human being?

I'll never stop saying that music is the only thing i love.Nothing,and nobody else.

I just wish people could go and be sincere.Talk to each other about everything.Admit that they are humans and they are jealus sometimes,or angry,or happy about something that they shouldnt.

I wish that people could speak so sincerely that would admit that they fart,and puke,and sneeze,or that they want someone they shouldnt,or that they cant help it cause they are FUCKIN HUMANS.

And no,humans are not bloody perfect.The more complex you are,the less close to perfection you end up being.

God!You must think im crazy by now.

I dont know whether i sound like a psychopath or just a classical teenage girl.

Either way,im a human dammit.I have the wright to write bullshit just because i want to,dont I?

Pffff...anyway,i guess i should get used to being that lonely.

It's just that sometimes i realise im more alone than i thought.

Actually sometimes i realise that im totally alone.