every line is about who i don't wanna write about anymore.

i know i've said before a thousand times that im gonna change,that im gonna get over my bad habits(HE is one of them),that im gonna become one of those people i admire but in my own way,and that i will love myself more than all my friends and family do but this time i feel like im getting closer to all of these.
its gonna be tough,changing all those things that make me wrong in my eyes and in other people's eyes,but im getting there,one step at a time.
the trick is to be strong when it comes to a rejection.
the trick is not to say that youre not worth it,that it was your fault.
i tried not to blame myself this time and it worked,so i guess this is something,right?
plus,this time i realised how helpfull everyone can be!
i never expected that if i talked about it it would go away...
it didnt in the past,but this time even though there were no hopes on the horizon and even though i expected from everyone to tell me the cliche"there are plenty of fish in the sea"which actually would make me feel worse,they didnt.
they handled the whole thing with extra delicacy and they made me feel proud about my choice.
they made me realised that yes,its gonna hurt and yes,its gonna be awkward but it will go away,and i will stp making circles.
i will be free from this obsessive,sick thing that lived inside my head-and heart-for such a long time.
i will be redeemed.
and truth is,i've already started realising that.
i FEEL redeemed.
i FEEL something new.
i FEEL different.
and it was worth it.
plus,i've realised how usefull older people can be in terms of giving pieces of advice
i cant deny that i still like him,like,a lot and that my mum  makes this getting-over-him process more difficult because she keeps telling me that"if i am willing to do what she tells me,im gonna get him"  but i dont know.i really need to believe right now that every single trace of hope has vanished.
cause its better like this.
im bored,oh SO BORED of running in circles,around him.

the title of this song is from this incredibly gret song.the lyrics are the story of my life.

every line is about who i don't wanna write about anymore.
hope you come down with something they can't diagnose,
don't have the cure for.
holding on to your grudge.
oh it's so hard to have someone to love.
and keeping quiet is hard.
'cause you can't keep a secret
if it never was a secret to start.
at least pretend you didn't wanna get caught..
sorry i told. i just needed you to know.